Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Watch This!

Sing to God, sing praise to his name,
extol him who rides on the clouds-
his name is the LORD-
and rejoice before him.  Ps. 68:4

I had the privilege of tagging along with my husband on a business trip last week to Florida.  It was just a little break for me from all of the hustle and bustle of Christmas.  I am blessed to have such a wonderful family and support system for my little ones, so that I can enjoy my time and not worry about them.

Whenever my husband and I travel, I always sit by the window and give him the aisle seat.  I like to look out and see all of God's creation and he likes to be able to stretch his legs when he wants. 

As we were approaching our destination, we were flying over the ocean.  I was watching out the window and thinking about the verse I quoted.  I thought about the LORD riding on the clouds.  I wondered what it would be like to have my spiritual eyes opened and see the LORD.

While I was pondering this, I noticed a heart shape in the ocean.  It was very dark and very large and I thought "How cool is that!"  I thought there must be a huge rock formation that is causing the depth of the ocean to form a heart.  So, I mentioned it to my husband. 

He leaned over me to see out the window and spotted it right away.  He kept looking and said, "Honey, that heart shape is a shadow of  heart-shaped cloud above it."  He then pointed out the heart shape cloud.  I said "You are right!  Oh my goodness, that is so incredible!"  We were both just grinning and staring out the window.

We moved past the point of the heart and I just sat there amazed again at our AMAZING GOD!  I said, "You know, I think that God just likes to play, "Watch This!" with me.  He said "I think so!"  That may sound flippant to some, but I remain in awe of the intimacy of my LORD.  He is worthy of our praise!

The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.  Ps. 19:1

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Peace In His Presence

I have been resting in God's peace.  His presence surrounds me.  I want to hide here.  It is such a good place to be.

There is so much going on in our world.  Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be God.  He already knows what is going to happen, but does it hurt Him to see all of the pain in our world. 

This morning, I was reliving some of my own hurts.  It didn't feel good.  It was just subtle thoughts and subtle grief.  I recognized it and starting praying and asking the Lord to help me.  I am so weak. 

He showed me the cross.  I was humbled.  He said that I didn't have to carry my pain.  He already has.  I repented and asked him to forgive me for trying to carry it myself.  What a waste of my time and energy.  He paid for it, so I don't have to.  It must cause Him pain when I don't accept the price He paid for me.

It is so subtle.  It seems so real.  It seems so me.  But I am reminded of the enemy that wages war against my soul and wants to confuse my mind.  He wants to steal my peace.  He wants me to live in defeat.

Thank God for His intimacy.  The bible says he knows my every thought even while it is far from me, before I even think it.  So, today I lost the battle for a few moments.  But, I thank the Lord that He let me hear His voice calling me.

Come to Me all of you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.  You will find rest for you soul and peace for your heart.  Those who know Him know His voice.  He desires to walk with me and to talk with me and to remind me that I am His own. 

So, even tonight I am still here...here in His presence...and here...there is peace.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

How Beautiful

How beautiful the radiant bride~

My daughter was married on Saturday.  It was beautiful.  She was beautiful.  She looked like Cinderella.  Her face was illuminated.  Her gown sparkled like diamonds as the late afternoon sun peeked through the windows.   She was amazing!

I am still speechless.  I have tried to express myself in gratitude to the Lord for His goodness and His faithfulness, but I just don't have the right words.  It went beyond anything we could ask or imagine.

The bride, the groom, the wedding party, the readers, the music, the church, the singers and the message were all perfect!  I felt the presence of the Lord expressing himself in the atmosphere.  You could feel the peace and the love and the wonder of it all.  And the weather was incredible!  Not a cloud in the sky, and the sun was shining. I know I sound like a proud Mother of the Bride or M.O.B. as my daughter affectionately called me. 

Okay, so I am.  I am proud to be the mother of the bride and now to be the mother of my 4th son, her husband.  I look forward with anticipation to their future together and their future family.  We will relive their Big Day for years to come in the many pictures and videos prepared for us. 

This morning, while spending time with the Lord, I imagined what the Wedding Supper of the Lamb will be.  We gave our daughter our best and we enjoyed every minute and would do it again in a heartbeat.  The Lord has a feast in mind for us.  He is making the preparations now.  He is giving his best.  He is waiting patiently for His bride to ready herself.

As the trumpet played or the organist version, I should say, the doors of the sanctuary opened.  There was the bride, my daughter in all her radiance; she was ready to be presented to her bridegroom.  I was awestruck.  The bridegroom stood still with a big smile on his face and his eyes were full of love and fixed on her.  He was ready to receive his bride.

So it is with us.  Jesus is waiting for the bride to ready herself.  He is smiling and He is waiting and He is watching.  Are you ready?  The trumpet will blast and He will appear.  No words can describe it.  His full presence will be known.  How blessed we will be when he looks at us, His bride, and says to you and to me:  How Beautiful!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

A Pick Me Up

Amazing that no matter where we are God is there.  We are never more than a whisper from Jesus' name.

On a flight the other day, I was reminded about His presence.  I never lose my awe of being so far above the earth.  As I looked at the clouds just suspended in air and the "life" below, I wondered what it all looks like to God.  It's too much to comprehend.

And then I thought about His presence.  It's everywhere.  The airplane can't get any closer to the air.  It is in it.  The presence of Jesus is everywhere.  If you are breathing, you are in it.   

While in worship today, I sensed His presence.  It was majestic and whooing.  My king was drawing me close to him.  In those moments, I never want to leave.  It is heavenly.  It was more than a knowledge of His presence, it was an experience of His presence.  It's as if no one else is around and it's just me and Him -knowing and being known.

He longs for that intimacy with me and with you.  He wants us to know Him. He wants us to want Him.

Abraham Lincoln was a great president.  I know a lot about him.  I have visited the places that he walked.  I have read books about him and marveled at his face at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.   Though I know about him, I don't know him.

Jesus is not just a figure hanging on a cross or a picture hanging in your grandmother's hallway.  He's not just a historical figure.  He is the living God.  He is a life-giving God.  He is the only true God.  By him were all things made and for him all things were made. 

You were made by him.  For I was knit together in my mother's womb, your eyes saw my unformed body when I was hidden in the secret place...every day was written in your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 119

You were made for a purpose.  For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29

The rest of that verse goes on to say that He will hear us when we turn from the path we have marked out for ourselves and turn toward him. I believe it is the longing of every heart to be known.

Like a father reaching to pick up a child that has fallen, He longs to pick you up and to carry you.  Getting closer to God doesn't just happen.  You have to make a move.

It can happen in your life today, though.  You can get one step closer to knowing Him.  Turn from where you are, reach up to God with your heart and your hands and whisper "Jesus, pick me up".  He knows your heart.  You will find that you are in the hands of God and that He is closer than the air you breathe!

Monday, September 28, 2009

A Changed Life

I recently read a really good book and wanted to share it with you. My uncle had told me about the author who was a friend of his. He sent the book to me and it was amazing how God used it in my life.

After reading the book, I had the opportunity to talk with the author. He asked me to mention the book to my blog followers. The name of the book is The Lost Secret and the author is Rick Suarez. You can visit his website at http://www.lostsecret.org/

The book is illustrated beautifully and is not like any other book I have read. It is also in a study guide form. Rick shares his life honestly and openly. And it is an amazing story. Jesus became the focus of His life and is using him to reach many people with the message of the cross.

The book covers every area in the Christian's journey. One of the chapters is about idols. And the Lord used the book to reveal the idols in my life.

Thinking I knew myself pretty well and knowing how God has healed my heart and changed my life, my prideful self thought this should be easy. It went like this:

"Lord, do I have any idols in my life?"

The answer came quickly, "Yes."

Mmmm...I had to really think about it. Do I really want to see the idols in my life? I have known the Lord long enough to know that when he is ready to work in your life, don't put it off. No matter how painful it seems, there is always victory on the other side. I knew I didn't want to miss out on what he has for me.

So, I worked up enough courage and said, "Okay, Lord, please show me what is an idol in my life".

He said, "Your family".

I quickly responded and said, "No, it's not". Pretty bold of me to argue with God, huh. I was so defensive!

He answered me with silence. He just waited...he didn't condemn me or shame me...he just waited.

I felt His presence so strongly and I was so humbled. I know that He is God and he knows me perfectly.

I then saw a picture in my mind. In my mind, I saw the cross. And then the idols in my life were lined up like wooden "game pieces".

The first one was my husband and then my kids, and then my parents, and then my siblings and then their children and my in-laws and their children...all of them...lined up. At the end of the line was me. I have a fairly large family, so this was a pretty long line.

How could I argue with God?

But I did, I said, "But Lord, I love them and I care about them and I want them to know you".

I was the first to get saved in my family, and have felt responsible for them. I want to be a good witness and I don't want them to miss out on what God has for each one of them. I want that more than anything!

Oh, so there's the key, I want that MORE than anything. I guess that is the definition of an idol, isn't it?

The Lord answered me and said, "Then let me be their God and stop playing God in their lives." I was so humbled. I didn't argue with God. I was speechless.

I sat quietly for a moment. I said, "Lord, I'm so sorry. I don't want anything between you and me."

And as quickly as I finished that prayer, the "game pieces" fell like dominoes. I was instantly at the foot of the cross, with nothing between me and Jesus!

The weight was taken off of my shoulders. The weight that I chose to carry. Jesus never asked me to carry that burden. Oh, he is so much better at being God than I am. I am free to set them free...and let Him be God!

So, check out the book. I am pretty sure God has a message for you somewhere in it too. And tell Rick I sent you...www.lostsecret.org.

A life changed by God is a blessed life! Be blessed!

A Man of His Word

These random thoughts play through my mind daily. They are thoughts of Jesus and they are thoughts of you. Here is a glimpse of my day:

You will see Jesus coming near, His voice you will hear...

Praise the Lord, O my soul, His Name is to be praised.

Spend time in His presence, and become His essence.

He longs to hold you close, He longs to look in your face.

He wants to see His reflection in you, as you reflect His glory.

I can't get enough of this amazing love, I can't describe it or speak loudly enough.

I want you to know Him like this, to know who you are in Him.

How can I help you? How can I explain Him? I don't have the right words, but He does.

His word is His essence. It is WHO he is. It describes Him precisely.

There is no other God but Him. There is none above, on earth, or below...He is the great I AM.

He wants to be known. He wants to be praised. He wants to shower you with blessings.

He wants you to be in a position to receive from Him. He has a plan and wants you to walk in it.

Do you rest in His presence? He wants to give you rest.

He wants to give you direction for your life. The One who made you, knows all about you.

The One who made you, loves you perfectly. The One who made everything you see, sees you!

Draw close to Him and He will draw close to you.

Surrender your life to Him and He will give you MORE life!

He who has the Son has LIFE!

Bless the Lord, O my soul, for He has done wonderful things in my LIFE!

Pick up His word, your Bible, and ask Him to speak to you. It is HIS word and He is a man of HIS word...

You can count on it!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Jump for Joy

I read a statement the other day that said: Jumping for Joy is Great Exercise! I loved that!

Yesterday, I experienced the worst headache of my life. On a scale of 1-10, my pain was a 20! It came on very quickly and I found myself in bed for several hours with a pillow under my head, and one over my head and knowing I needed a quick exit to the bathroom if necessary. The pain was very nauseating.

As I lay there in pain, I couldn't help but think of the pain that Jesus endured for me. It's beyond comprehension. This pain was just one part of my body. Though it seemed almost unbearable, I could still move the rest of my body, though I didn't want to.

I kept asking God what I needed to learn from the pain. Pain is a great teacher. It stops us in our tracks, literally. It takes precedence over every other thing in our lives. It gets our attention!

The Bible talks about the church as the Body of Christ. When one part suffers, the whole body suffers. I want to encourage you to get close to God. Ask him the hard questions. Am I doing what YOU want me to do? Am I going where YOU want me to go? Is my light shining for YOU or is it just making me look good?

I am so thankful that today, I am not suffering. My boys are happy that I am going to get to go on their field trip with them. I am in agreement today with my oldest son, "That the same One who made the body can heal the body!"

I am confident that he can heal His body too. If you confess Jesus as your Lord, you are a part of His body. Are you whole? He wants you to be. I want to jump for joy in Jesus' presence. I want to hear him say, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

Will you jump for joy in His presence?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Chosen!

When I was just nine years old, a man showed up at our front door.

This man was middle-aged and dressed in a suit. He told me he was from a church located on the other side of the river. I recognized the name of his church. This church would bring a bus through our neighborhood on Sunday mornings and transport children to church. When church was over, they would bring the kids home again. I was always curious what went on over at that church.

My mom had a religious upbringing and felt it was important to take us to church as well. We were C & E Christians mainly. My mom would always try to get us to church on Easter Sunday and we would go for awhile. And then maybe around Christmastime. We would go to church for awhile and then for some reason that would fade again. We always went to "our" church though. She would comment that the church that sent that bus around did it because they couldn't get enough people to come to their church, so they would pick up kids to fill their church.

So on this particular day, when this nice man showed up at our door, I was thinking he just needed another innocent kid to go to his church to fill a pew. But, it wasn't that way. He stood on the front porch and was so kind. He did tell me about his church, but he wasn't demanding at all. He gave me a little booklet to read. I remember feeling at peace in his presence, but scared to death that my mom would find out that I was talking to this guy. He must have sensed my fear and quickly left our house. I quickly disposed of his literature.

As I went back into our house, I was just waiting for someone to make fun of me or question what I was doing out there on the porch. Nevertheless, I couldn't shake the feeling of how special I felt. And how this man's only motive seemed to be to simply tell me that Jesus loved me.

I didn't have a bible of me own. So, I spent time in my mother's bedroom looking through her bible. My curiosity about Jesus became very real. I would try to read the bible, but not much of it made sense to me. I instead would fix my gaze on the beautifully illustrated pictures. I especially loved the one of Jesus coming in the clouds. I often wondered if that was really going to happen someday.

A few weeks went by and the man showed up at our door again. Cautiously, I went out to greet him. He asked me if I would want to go to his church and if I would want the bus to pick me up. He asked if I had any brothers or sisters that might want to come along too. He seemed so sincere. I knew that my mom would disapprove, so I told him probably not.

He was so patient and did not seem to be in a hurry at all. It was like he was sent there just to talk to me. He asked me if I knew that Jesus loved me. He asked me if I wanted Jesus to live in my heart. He told me that I could pray and that Jesus would answer my prayer. All of this was new to me and it made me nervous. How would I explain this to my mom? And I thought she would be so upset if she knew this man was on our front porch. Again, he must have sensed my fear, and kindly left.

I never saw him again. But, many years later, that scene came to my mind. At the age of 23, I again was asked if I knew that Jesus loved me. Shortly before this, I had told Jesus I would follow Him if He would teach me what that meant. Now, with her bible in hand, my aunt methodically worked her way through the book of John. When she was finished and with my heart opened wide, I truly understood that Jesus loved me enough to die for me.

I have been walking with Jesus for 22 years and again tonight the Lord took me back to that day on the front porch. He was seeking me when I was only 9 years old. I do believe the man on my front porch was obeying Jesus when he showed up at my door again. I believe that I was his assignment that day. It was really Jesus knocking on my heart's door. I am sorry it took me so many years to answer.

Jesus chose me. He sought after me. He pursued me. He let me hear him knocking on my heart's door.

Do you know that you are a chosen one? Do you know that He pursues you out of love? Will you answer the knock at the door? It's Jesus...let Him in...don't be like me and wait for years and years...open the door today...you will never regret it!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

What's a Love Note?

If this is your first time to the site, and you are wondering "What is a Love Note from God?", I encourage you to read my story, entitled "Daughter of the King". You will find it under "Blog Archive" in the February file. Look on the left side of this page and click on February. Scroll through the blogs until you see my story. Be blessed...God is longing to show His love to you!

He Looks At You With Eyes Of Love

Some of my friends have been sharing "love notes" with me. They are looking "up" and looking "for" their own personal message from God. It is really exciting to hear what God is doing in their lives!

My latest love note came on a very, very cloudy cold day the week of July 4th. My husband and I and our two little boys were spending a few days at a campground. This is a really fun place to be and next to Disney, the boys find it their favorite spot to spend vacation time. Well, this particular week was unseasonably cool like most of the summer has been. It was in the 50s and we were in pants and sweatshirts.

We had been fishing and had gotten rained on. We had been to the dog park, to the mini golf and were marking off our list of to-dos in spite of the weather. One of our favorite things to do at the campground is paddle boat around the lake. We decided to take our chances and go out on the lake and pray that it didn't rain too hard for us to get back into shore. We paid for our 30 minute cruise and headed out on the lake. It was very relaxing to hear the water hit the boat and at the same time knowing our legs were getting a work-out. We were enjoying our time and just chatting. As we rounded the end of the lake, the sky had turned darker. Being a little fearful of lightning and getting stuck out on the water, we decided it was time to head back.

I still wanted to squeeze out any enjoyment we could get from our ride back, so I said to my little "sky watcher", "Why don't we look for heart-shaped clouds". I didn't get the words out of my mouth when he said, "Look, Mom there is one right behind us." And there was. It was a perfect heart in a little bit lighter shade of gray against the dark gray backdrop. I was so awed. We all giggled, because they thought it was a little silly for me to suggest finding clouds in one big blanket of dark sky anyway. Once again I experienced that moment of "speechless". I am always grateful that the Lord continues to bless us and to build my little guys' faith.

We watched it dissipate and turned to look toward the shore. Just as I did I noticed another cloud formation. It was a huge eye. You could make out the top lid, the bottom lid, the eyeball and the pupil. I got so excited! I said "Hey, guys, look at that huge EYE!" In a matter of seconds, where the pupil was located it began to take the shape of a heart! I am NOT kidding! It was incredible! We were all amazed! A huge eye with a heart in the middle of it.
I fumbled for my camera. I had it safely nestled in a ziplock bag in the center of the boat. Unfortunately, by the time I got my camera ready, the formation was already disappearing. As you might guess, I was pretty disappointed. My husband gave me these reassuring words. He said, "It's okay...I think the Lord just wants you to know that He looks at you with eyes of love". Awwww...see how my husband's heart is responding to God's intimacy. How can you resist such love?

I wish I had the right words to describe my feelings. I hope you will bear with me, because I sound like a broken record. I remain "speechless" in His presence...

No eye has seen,
no ear has heard,
no mind has conceived
what God has prepared
for those who love him.
1 Cor. 2:8-10

Monday, July 27, 2009

A Real Nail Biter

Early this year while working through a bible study entitled "John, the Beloved Disciple" I answered a question. The question presented was: If you could change something about yourself, what would it be and why. The answer came quickly. I would stop biting my nails! My reason: I think it is a poor testimony to God!

I have been praying about being a nail biter for many years. I have stopped at times, used horrible tasting nail polish and even had fake nails put on ~ which I BIT OFF! Talk about disgusting...that was MANY, MANY years ago though. And I still found myself hating my hands and hating that terrible habit.

If someone wanted to take a picture of me, I would try to hide my hands. I read a story about Princess Diana after she died and her photographer told the same story about her. Interesting, I thought...she's so beautiful. Around the same time, I watched a home movie and there I was at age three biting my nails. WOW! Now that has been a long-standing problem.

So early this year, I decided I was ready to tackle this problem again. I was in a dilemma PLEADING with God to help me STOP BITING MY NAILS. I prayed once again and told God that I would definitely stop this time because I wanted to honor HIM! I would discipline my mind to stop the thoughts that seemed to be causing my anxiety and resulting in the nail biting. I would quickly analyze them, pray about them or confess them, or whatever I needed to do, to move on. It worked a lot! Other times, I would pray about it and later look down at my hands and see my nail-bitten fingers and have that same awful feeling. I was disappointed in my lack of discipline. I sometimes would just convince myself that it was just the way I am!

That would only last awhile, before I would be wishing for pretty nails again.

Sometime the end of May, as I was driving down the road...God seems to use those times when I am all alone to speak the loudest...mmm...that must mean I am hearing the loudest at those times... Anyway, I was driving down the road and found myself chewing on my nails. I recognized immediately what I was doing and stopped biting my nails. I prayed about whatever was on my mind. I immediately felt better. I felt successful and convinced myself that I responded so quickly this time that I must have this thing whipped!

Not so quickly now...I drove another 3 minutes, and guess what...my hands were in my mouth again! With no apparent effort, I was doing it again. I was ticked!!! I felt like such a failure!!!

I immediately cried out to Jesus...Please, Lord, help me! Why do I do this? I hate this about myself...it is a terrible testimony to you! I tell people how you bless me and give me peace and that you are so faithful, yet here I am filled with anxiety about so many things!
I was so honest with the Lord and I knew he was listening.

The Lord spoke into my heart and I will never forget it. He said, Tammy, you take immediate responsibility for everything and for everyone. When these thoughts come to your mind, you think it is up to you to solve all the problems in your little world.

I said, But, Lord, I can't solve all the problems in my world. A lot of this stuff hasn't even happened and if it did, I couldn't stop it anyway. I can't change anyone or change their circumstances or fix anyone! And the amazing thing is it is all in my head! All of these random thoughts present themselves as real, and most of it is not even reality!!! Why do I think that if I "think" about it long enough, I will be able to "solve" it? As I uttered that to the Lord, I saw it so clearly. I felt a huge weight come off of my shoulders.

I have been set free to let God solve all of the problems in my world! WOW! He is big enough! I have stopped biting my nails, and when those random thoughts enter my mind, I recognize they are not for me. I dismiss them and I thank God that He is God.

I am enjoying my new nails and my aged but beautiful hands. They are the ones that God gave me and they are His. I want to use them to glorify Him. I want my hands to be a testament to the One who carries the weight of the world on His shoulders and and to the One who watches over me!

So, what's your story? Where do you turn to solve all the "little problems" in your world? Maybe yours isn't as evident as mine like the awful habit of nail biting. Maybe you've convinced yourself that you are not like me at all. Hopefully, you're not. But, if the Lord has used my story to nudge you, I urge you to be completely honest with Him. He knows you intimately and He wants to set you free from all anxiety. Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you! He is an amazing God! Put your trust in Him and I promise you will not be disappointed!





Happy Summer!

Hello again! I have been enjoying this Summer so much being home with my boys! It is going by so quickly. We just finished our first Swim Team season and it was so much fun. The boys learned a lot and even were part of a relay team that set a new county record!

I have also been busy planning my daughter's wedding, which has been a lot of fun too. The ball is rolling very quickly now and reality is setting in. My little girl is going to be a wife and I can't wait until the day they decide to make me a grandmother! No pressure, though, haha! I'm so happy for them~

Every day I have seen God's hand guiding our steps and blessing our lives. He is so good and He is so faithful! He has done mighty things in my life that I can't wait to share with you. I hope that your eyes are upon Him and that you are resting in His love for you everyday!

A note from my daily calendar: You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. Matt. 22:37
If we place God first in our lives, all else will fall rightly into place, and love shall reign supreme.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

They Call Me "Mom"

Happy Mother's Day!

What a special day it was today. I am so blessed to have the privilege to be called "Mom" or "Mommy" to four beautiful children. I also will have the privilege one day to hold my baby whom Jesus is now holding safely in His arms. I wanted to dedicate this blog to them and tell them how much they mean to me.

My beautiful daughter "a pearl of great price" is so special to me. She is very gifted and very fun to be with. I am so thankful for her friendship. She is a busy girl! We work together in the floral business and I love the designs that she puts together and to watch her creative mind at work. She works as nurse as well. She has experienced things that we can only imagine and it has brought her wisdom beyond her years. I am so proud of her. Some of my favorite times with her is when we are so tired that we begin to reminisce about "old" times and laugh so hard, we can't breathe! We are planning her wedding and it is such a blessed time. To see the way the Lord is just allowing all of the pieces to fall in place is such an amazing story. Soon I will "get" another son, and I can't wait for him to join our family. I love you both!

My #1 Son is "a mountain of strength, a teacher and an enlightened one". He has made me so proud. He is also very gifted physically, intellectually and has a big heart. He is so on fire for the Chiropractic profession. God is working mightily in His life and has placed him on a path that he could never have imagined. I love spending time with just the two of us. We talk on the phone often and I am so blessed to have him as a very special friend. He has encouraged me, prayed for me and amazed me by his maturity and his vision for health and life. He can't wait for the opportunity to teach the world how God has designed us to heal from "above, down, inside, out - ADIO". I love you!

My third child was a baby I never got to hold. We lost our baby at 14 weeks of pregnancy. Though our hearts were broken, we knew that God was faithful. We named our baby, Toby, meaning - "God is with us". We look forward to the day that we can hold our baby and until then God continues to heal my heart and dry my tears. Mommy loves you so much!

My fourth child or Baby A was born 100 minutes before his brother. He likes being the "oldest". He is "a prophet of God". He loves to learn and loves technology. He has a beautiful smile and always makes me laugh. He has been a "Mama's Boy" from the first time I held him. He is also gifted musically and is a great actor. I LOVE all of the hugs that he gives me and when he tells me everyday that he loves me. I love the way his mind is always working and to listen to all of his ideas. He LOVES to play games and is the "luckiest duck" in the family! He is always helping me do lots of things. I am so proud of him and can't wait to see what God has planned for his life! I love you Baby A!

And lastly, my Baby B. He will always be my baby - my "angel of God"! He reminds me so much of my oldest son. He loves to play sports, but is also very gifted intellectually. He loves bugs, little creatures and playing in water. He likes the Cubs and building fires in Grandpa's fire pit. He also loves to count my money. We love to look for shapes in the clouds together. He has seen LOTS of heart-shaped clouds and even a blue "W" on New Year's Day this year. We decided it was God's message to him that this is "THE YEAR FOR THE CUBBIES!" You heard it here first, folks! He loves to sit on my lap and for me to give him back rubs. I cherish this time in our lives. I love you Baby B!

Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of my children!
They have brought me so much love, so much life and so much laughter! You have been so good to me to allow me to be the mother of these beautiful lives! Bless each one and draw their hearts to their Heavenly Father who loves them perfectly! And help me to love them the best way that I can as their mother as I draw my strength and wisdom from you. I cherish every day knowing that we never have the promise of tomorrow.
Thank you for my own mother who taught me self-less love.
Lord, THANK YOU for my children and thank you for TODAY!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Daddy!

Do you know that God is our "Daddy!" He's not a grandpa to anyone! Do you know him as Abba, Father? Daddy, God! We never outgrow our need for our Heavenly Father.

Twenty-two years ago, I called out to a God still questioning if he even existed. I had watched the movie, Jesus of Nazareth. At the end of the three night movie, I prayed and said, "God, I feel like you are wanting me to follow you. IF you are real, show me and teach me what it means to follow you!"

He did and I do!

If you have that same "feeling" that this God is seeking you, he is! If you have a desire to know him, but you don't understand ALL of it...it's okay. He promises to teach you as you follow him!

You can pray now:
Heavenly Father, I admit that I can't do life without you. I fall short and I accept that Jesus paid the price for all of my offenses toward you. I want to stop what I am doing and I want to start living a new way - your way. Teach me how to do that.

You need to know that God knows your heart. Maybe you have more to say and more to confess to him. Maybe you have lots of things to ask him about. He's big enough to handle it!

I am so excited for you! Life cannot be more exciting than to know that the God who made everything you see and gives you every breath is walking with you and he is FOR you!

Start getting to know Him by reading the bible. I started in the book of John in the New Testament. I really liked the words in red...they were Jesus' words. Find some Christian friends to do life with...seek a church where you can get connected! I did all of this on my own and God was faithful.

Was it scary...you bet! Was it worth it...absolutely! Are Christians perfect...absolutely NOT! They are just like you and have made a life-changing choice to do life WITH God.

Did I mention already how excited I am for you! Angels are singing in heaven over you and YOUR Daddy has his eye on you!!! He loves you perfectly!

If you have made this decision, would you please email me and tell me your story. I would love to hear how God is working in your life! poppen@mtco.com Bless you!

Stop and Look at Me!

I have recently started reading a book by Tommy Tenney entitled The God Chasers. It is a great encouragement for those wanting "more" of God.

This morning, I read: Do you ever want to climb up on God's lap and take his face in your hands and turn it toward you, so that he is looking right at you!

After reading that question, I immediately went back to the days when my children did that to me. Often, well anytime, they didn't have my full attention and wanted something, they would do that exact thing. It made me smile just thinking of those days. You know your kids feel comfortable doing that. They need you and know how to get access to your face. They need the eye to eye connection so that they know that you are listening to them. I remember times like that when they would look me right in the eye, and I would think you are so cute and so sweet and I love you so much...name it...it's yours!

I haven't forgotten other times, that it was quite irritating to be rudely interrupted. It would be at those times, that God would remind me how precious and innocent these little lives were. And then, I would go back to...you are so cute and sweet and I love you so much...name it...it's yours!

I think that God wants that from us. He wants us to have the confidence to get on his lap and take his face in our hands and turn his head toward us and look him fully in the face. That is where we are filled with him and receive his full blessing.

You know there are days when we are dancing around all of our problems and acting as if it is up to us to solve our problems and our spouse's and our kids' and...the list goes on and on. There is always someone in need. God wants us to stop long enough to look up.

He is always there encouraging us. "Yeah, Tammy, I know what you're looking for! It can only be found in me. I have all the love, all the acceptance, all the wisdom, all the courage, all the strength, all the power you need! Stop and look at me!" Doesn't that sound like a loving father just looking out for you. "Stop and look at me! I have what you need."

I pray you find rest for your weary soul today...looking fully in His wonderful face!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Faith Like a Child

My son is really interested in the computer. He likes to play games and has recently learned how to cut and paste things. He finds stuff like the "Cubs" logo. He pasted that on the desktop of his dad's computer. He did it without any help, just innocently trying stuff until it works.

On the way home from church Sunday, he asked me if he could put together a power point. I said, "I don't think so, Honey. I don't know how to do that, and Daddy won't be home for a while. And I really don't want you messing with the computer". He said, "Well, I saw Microsoft Word Power Point 2003 on the computer and I think I can figure it out".

He and his brother have a collection of twenty troll dolls. They win them as prizes at school for various reasons. He thought it would be cool to do a Troll Power Point. So, he said, "Well, will you at least let me look for the pictures that match the ones we have". I agreed. Within minutes he had searched, cut and pasted about five of them onto Microsoft Word. This went on for awhile. I was busy doing Mom things while they were having fun searching for pictures of their trolls on the internet.

After an hour or so, he came to be and said, "Mommy, I have found most of them, but I was getting really frustrated, because this one was really hard to find". He went on to say, "So I walked away from the computer. I said, God, I have tried everything and have done all that I know to do". He continued, "So, Lord, it is your turn to do your part". He said after he prayed, he went back to the computer. He hit "Search Again" and with a huge smile, he continued, "and two pictures popped up". I said, "Honey, that is so cool. Did you remember to thank God when he did that?" He said, "Yes, Mommy, I did thank him!"

I was so blessed. My first thought was how blessed I was that he went to God. I thought how insightful that he would express himself to God so honestly. And then I was in awe that God answered his prayer instantly. God cares about what we care about. What a seemingly insignificant activity. But, I know that God was using it to build his faith.

My boys spent several hours and were excited to share their 20-page power point with family, friends and their 2nd grade classrooms. They found pictures and backgrounds for each one. They also gave each of them names and descriptions of their interests and backgrounds. It was pretty impressive, if my opinion counts.

I am even more impressed with their faith and God's faithfulness. I am certain God will use their giftedness in their lives and hopefully to glorify himself. I am also feeling convicted by this child like faith.

I don't know how to do a power point. Want to know a secret? I have never tried. I have never had the innocence to want to venture on the computer very far. I might mess something up or worse the computer may crash. I'm pretty sure they weren't concerned about either one. They just took their chances, were not afraid of making mistakes and they persevered. And when they couldn't do it on their own...they asked for help...divine help.

Imagine God on his throne with multitudes of voices and multitudes of prayers being lifted to his ears. There are wars and rumors of wars... The foundations of the world as we know it, are being shaken. Then in an instant, he hears the cry of my son for help. He immediately answers. I'm so thankful that God is still secure on his throne...so secure that in the midst of all the turmoil we are in, he attends to the heart of a child!

What a loving God we serve. Won't you turn to him with the same child like faith and ask him for what you need. You can be specific, he already knows all the details anyway...and when he answers, don't forget to thank him!

I pray you will be blessed today!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Daughter of the King - My Story

Some of you have been looking for my story. It is entitled "Daughter of the King - My Story".
You will find it to the left. It is under BLOG ARCHIVE. Just click on February and scroll down to the story and crown cloud picture.
Blessings!
Tammy

Our Jealous God

The Lord continues to bless me with his glory written in the sky! He is so amazing!

While driving a few days ago, I was feeling a little blue. I was praying (praising) through that all morning. I glanced up into the scattered cloudy day, and saw a huge fluffy heart cloud. I was so thankful.

But in a matter of seconds, I saw another shape. It was clouds forming a heart shape, but it was like a cut-out. The brilliant blue sky shone through the middle. It kept getting larger and larger. It was as if God was saying, "Watch this!" At the same time, the radio was playing a song. The lyrics were, "I don't want you to ever doubt how much I love you!" And it was if God was saying "Do you hear me?" I was brought to tears! I am so undeserving of all of this affection. But that's the God we serve. He loves us even though we are so undeserving.

I felt a deep impression in my heart and was reminded that my God is a jealous God. He doesn't want anything or anyone else to have first place in my heart. Only He knows us perfectly and knows exactly what we need. Why would we go anywhere else?

I pray that you will stop now and look up and praise the One who is so deserving of our love and adoration. He inhabits the praise of His people and he is enthralled with the beauty of His bride!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

The Fight Is Fixed

I have recently started a new work-out routine. It is exhausting and it is exhilarating. At times, I feel like I could collapse and at times, I feel like I could jump over mountains.

That sounds like our journey of faith, doesn't it? Just like a good work-out routine, our faith needs to be worked out. When we are in the valley, we need to persevere. When we are on the mountaintop, we need to take it all in. We need to enjoy the victory! Because we know that we are eventually going down...into the valley...again...to learn more about this walk of faith.

While working out, I love to listen to praise music. It is so energizing! I highly recommend it! This morning, I had to pray..."HELP me, Jesus!" And he did! My legs were burning and I didn't feel I had another ounce of strength. But, as soon as I prayed, a burst of energy raced through my body and I kept going...to the finish! Yeah, me! I feel good!!!

Are you on the mountaintop? Praise God...it feels so good, doesn't it?! Use this time, to encourage others and don't stop praising God!

Or are you in the midst of a discouraging battle? Have you felt like lying down and surrendering? You have no energy and you know you can't go on another minute. I encourage you to pray...if all you have is the energy to utter the name of "Jesus", you will find he will be there.

I was encouraged while listening to my music, when the worship leader made the comment, "The Fight Is Fixed!" Look at the back of the book...we WIN! Think about that. You may feel you have lost a few battles in life. I know I have. But that doesn't make us losers. The Bible says in the final round, we WIN! We will be victorious...if we don't lose heart and give up! It will be worth it in eternity!

If you are a Christian, you are in a fight. The battle is for your soul. Your opponent, the devil, would like you to be discouraged and to surrender. He knows the end of the book has been written. He loses! We win! Don't give up...don't give in...every morning is a new day and the Lord has everything you need!

Be encouraged! One of my favorite verses, that energizes me each time I read it, goes like this:

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail,
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him".

The Lord is good tho those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him
Lamentations 3:21-26

The Fight Is Fixed! And at the final bell...we WIN!


Friday, April 17, 2009

Loved To Death

This morning, I am compelled to write this message ~

LOVED TO DEATH!

Yesterday, during my prayer time, I was praying about loving. How can the Lord love the unlovable. Those who reject him. When I think about the crucifixion, I ask, "HOW Lord did you endure such humiliation and pain?".

The physical pain was indescribable. Just imagine getting up right now and smacking your toe on a very hard object. You say, No thanks! I did that in December and I still experience pain at times. And that's just a tiny part of my body compared to every other part.

He was beaten beyond recognition. The most grueling death. He was spit on. He was mocked and laughed at.

You maybe thinking, "Okay, Tammy, enough already".

Why don't you want to think about it?

Now, imagine the pain of being rejected by your closest friends. The people you share your inner secrets, desires and vulnerabilities with. You are being ridiculed and your best friend just stands there as if he doesn't even know you and downright doesn't care what you are going through.

Let that sink in for a minute.

Now imagine being rejected by your father. He doesn't call, never says he loves you and his world mainly revolves around himself. He seems a world away.

How are you feeling about now?

None of us want to go there. Why?

It's too painful.

I asked the Lord, "How, did you do it?"

He gently answered, "Because I loved you!

I didn't FEEL like suffering.

I LOVED you to DEATH - my death!"

Every step of his death, has you written on it.

He loved YOU every step to his own death.

If you are like me, and I think you are, you will do anything to avoid suffering in your own life. No one wants to suffer. No one wants to be in pain. No one wants to be rejected. What day have you awakened to say, "Today, I FEEL like suffering!"

He died for all of it. All of the pain that you and I have every suffered. The physical, emotional and spiritual pain. If you are feeling down, look to the cross. If you are feeling rejected, look to the cross...confused, tired, in pain, grieving a loss, fearful...look to the cross.

I know ~ Good Friday was last week.

But, has it changed your life? How has this week been different than last week? Have you encountered His love for you?

Look at the cross.

No one has ever loved you that much!

He LOVED you to death!

For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous (that's Him) for the unrighteous (that's us), to bring you to God. 1 Peter 4:4

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

Monday, April 13, 2009

You Have Potential

Yesterday was wonderful! We celebrated the Resurrection of Jesus from the grave! Every year that I hear that message I am in awe. And what really gets me is the idea, I mean the TRUTH that the SAME power that resurrected Jesus from the dead lives in me and you!

I quickly realize that I am not utilizing the full power that lives in me. I have to meditate on it, yet cannot fully comprehend that kind of power. Power to raise the dead...power to raise God! I want more of that power. More of Him; less of me is my prayer. I want to raise God up in my life so that others can see Him in me.

This power is available to anyone who has answered the call on their life to follow him. The Bible says that "All have been called." That includes you. God sees the potential in your life. He sees what you could be with his power working in you. We have to work on surrendering the "me" in our lives to the power in "Him".

I sense His anticipation of answering that prayer. Let's see what God is going to do today in us and through us...as we surrender to him! I can't think of a more exciting life than a life that is marked by the POWER of Almighty God! Can you believe that the God that made the heavens and earth wants to exhibit Himself in YOU and me?

Amazing!!!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Glorify the Lord with Me

I awoke this morning at 4 a.m. My mind was flooded with the "mountains" in my life. I began to pray about all of my "mountains" and the Lord gave me a vision of a magnifying glass. He said to me, "Tammy, you are magnifying your problems. I want you to magnify Me!" I thanked him for the peace that came over me as I began to magnify/glorify Him.

He is bigger than any mountain in your life. He is greater than any depth you have fallen. The mountain of his love has no summit...it is endless!

Glorfiy the Lord with me...

Psalm 34

I will extol the Lord at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
My soul will boast in the Lord;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the Lord with me;
let us exalt his name together.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor woman called, and the Lord heard her/him;
he saved her/him out of all her/his troubles.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Fear the Lord, you his saints,
for those who fear him lack nothing.
The lions may grow weak and hungry,
but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.

Come, my children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days,
keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies.
Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their cry;
the face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
he protects his bones,
not one of them will be broken.

Evil will slay the wicked;
the foes of the righteous condemned.
The Lord redeems his servants;
no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Sonshine!

The sun is shining! I love it when the sun is shining! It brightens my mood immediately.

The Lord has also brightened my mood with his love. The Son is shining deep in my heart. He has lifted my head and helped me to see him. He has shown me the err of my way. He has encouraged me to "get going". "We have mountains to climb and views you haven't seen yet. I have more...so much more! More than you can even imagine!"

I've asked for a love to love when it hurts. He wants that! He wants me to take the love that he has lavishly poured into my life and give it away. As I empty myself, he fills me back up. He fills me to overflowing. How great, how deep, how wide is the love of God. It is indescribable!

I am so unworthy. He already knows that, but chooses to love me anyway. Extravagant, undeserving love is the theme of my life.

He loves you!!! He wants you to know that love too ~ to feel it deep within your heart. I am praying for you today! I hope your day is overflowing with Sonshine!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Get Up!

Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame. Ps. 34:5

This morning in my devotion I had to answer the question, "When you sin, how quickly do you go to God?" I had to admit, I am slow to go to God for forgiveness. I am ashamed for disappointing the Lord and somehow try to "pay" for my own sins for "awhile". I don't want to take his forgiveness flippantly.

As I've grown in my love for him, I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to disappoint him. As he has revealed to me the pain of the cross, the cost of the cross and the ultimate betrayal of the Father, I am grieved over my sin. I am sorry for putting him there.

The more I learn, the more I have to learn. God is so big! I know that I am a sinner. I know that I will sin. But, I'm asking today for the conviction of the Holy Spirit to keep me in a place that my face is never covered with shame. And that when not if I do sin, I quickly go to God for forgiveness.

I pray that my life would be radiant with joy because of His life in me. I can't do this on my own. It requires something of me. I have to be willing to lay down my own desires, my own wants and my own agenda to seek him, to read his word, to spend time in prayer. To some that may sound like a burden. Somedays, it seems easier to skip it...who has time?

I have found that the reward is so great! The peace is priceless. And knowing that the God of the universe, the One who calls every star by its name and has numbered every hair on your head, is working in your life and on behalf of you is amazing!

The other day I was reading the story of Jesus healing a daughter who had died. The girl was only 12 years old and her parents were devastated. They sent for Jesus. When he arrived he said that she wasn't dead. And the crowd "laughed at him". Can you imagaine? He could have slain each one of them at that moment, but he didn't. Jesus entered her house and took her by the hand and said "Get up!" and the little girl got up. Then he told her mother to feed her.

I think that is a word for you today.
Do you feel your life is radiant with his joy? Praise God!
Or are you feeling lifeless and your days seem to have little meaning? Then, today is YOUR day!

The Lord would say to you today "GET UP!" and start "LIVING!" And feed yourself. Your spirit is malnourished. Invite him into your house and seek him. Run, don't walk and ask him to forgive you. Tell him what you need and praise him for speaking into your life. Read his word. Start in Psalm 45 if you want. You will not be disapppointed. He is the LIFE! And He is faithful to forgive us!

Those who look to him are radiant,
their faces are never covered with shame. Ps. 34:5

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

She Said "Yes!"

My daughter...she said "Yes!"

I am overwhelmed with emotion. My little girl...my sweet, beautiful little girl. My angel and the sunshine of my life. Did I mention she's beautiful??? She is now a woman. And she is getting married. It is slowly sinking in. She has been watching for a husband. She has not been in a hurry...she has waited. God has picked the right one for her. I laugh and cry all at the same time!

Her time has come. She will be united with him in a few months. She will take his name, she will make her home with him. She will belong to him and they will be one. She is glowing. He is too. So much to get ready, so many decisions to make. Of course, I want her to have her dream wedding. But more than that, I want her to be loved. He loves her. He has promised to keep her and never let her go.

I can't help but thinking of Jesus. He has picked his bride. It is me...it is you! Have you said "Yes!"? He has purchased us for his own. His timing is perfect! We will one day make our home with him. In the meantime, we wait...he waits. He is making all the preparations for the wedding feast. He wants it to be perfect! Oh, How He Loves You and Me...How PERFECT!

Do You See What I See?

I was so blessed by a story my little boy told me after getting off the bus yesterday. He has an eye for the imagination and God's creative hand. He has been looking UP!

About a month ago, he told me that while on the playground he saw a heart-shaped cloud. The first one he has spotted on his own. He couldn't wait to tell me about it. I was so excited. I told him that was awesome. And then I asked him if he told Jesus he loved him when he saw the "love note". He so sweetly said, "Yes, I did." I could feel the joy in Jesus heart. I was so blessed that God was reaching down to my son and that my son was reaching back to Jesus.

As parents, we think we have to carry such a heavy load for our children. For some reason we think that we hold their very lives in our hands. Here's a newsflash for you: We DON'T! God has not given us that responsibility. He is their Father, He is their Savior and their Redeemer. And guess what...He knows them perfectly. He knows how to speak to them and to reach areas of their hearts that we don't see and even if we did, we would never understand. He is their GOD!

A few weeks ago, he came running into the kitchen for me to come and see something! He was so excited and so adamant. I was trying to get lunches ready and he was insistent. A bit irritated at my interruption, I followed him to his room. Out his second story window was an enormous upside down heart-shaped cloud. In the center of it was another much smaller heart right side up. He was in awe and again I was too. What a way to start the day! I was so concerned with what I HAD to do, I almost missed it.

Yesterday, he came home with another fascinating sighting. While on the bus, he saw a cloud. He described in detail how it looked as if the cloud was an angel. The angel was laying down on its back with both of its wings spread out. It even had a halo. He said it was directly above someone's house on his bus route. I was so amazed and asked if he knew whose house it was. He didn't know. His little face just glowed and my heart did too.

I am so thankful for the way that God is speaking to my son. He is a personal God and he knows that he will be glorified in his little heart. And it is helping me to let go and to trust Him!

Do you see what I see??? Oh how he loves you and me!!!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Searching for Words

This morning during my devotion I meditated on God's greatness. I didn't have words to describe the incredible feelings of my small-ness and the incredible feelings of his big-ness! For those of you who are concerned with grammatical correctness, I do know that these are not really words. Therein lies my problem. I don't have the right words. I just know how I feel.

When I consider the heavens, the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him? Ps. 8:4

I went outside on my deck to tie out the dog, and there was a huge fluffy sideways heart-shaped cloud. Wow! So, instead of rushing inside I felt the prompting to just sit down. I stared at the cloud and just started telling the Lord again how awesome He is. I looked out another direction and there was another smaller, more perfect shaped heart cloud. This one brought me to tears. And now I have counted at least four more.

What a God we serve! He has made us and we are not our own. And He finds time to show us His great love by the work of His fingers.

What is your life? You are a mist that appears for alittle while and then vanishes. James 4:14

Like the clouds, we are just a mist. The clouds dissipate so quickly and James tells us that is what our life consists of. Just a mere mist. And I had to ask God, why He would take the time to create just for me.

The reply came..." because I want to...I love you!!!"

Oh, how he loves you and me! I just don't have enough words...

Friday, March 6, 2009

Look UP!

I have plans this morning to wash windows and prepare for a party. The Lord has other plans for my life. This morning, I feel like a Martha, so concerned about outward appearances. He wants me to be a Mary, and be still and learn from him.

When I was a little girl, I used to sneak into my mom's bedroom and remove her old leather Bible from her night stand. I don't know why, but I didn't want anyone to see me. I would flip through the pages, looking at all of the beautiful pictures. The most amazing picture to me, was the image of Jesus coming in the clouds. I would just stare at it and envision it REALLY happening. At times, I would look up in the clouds, and wonder if it was ever going to happen or if it was just another picture in a storybook.

When I was about nine years old, I had a friend tell me that Jesus was coming back. And that we should all be afraid because it was going to be horrible! No one would know when it was going to happen, but that it would happen suddenly. My glorious picture turned to fear. What I had thought was a beautiful scene had now become something I dreaded. I was afraid of God for many years.

When I trusted Jesus and he became the center of my life, I no longer feared him or his return. The morning after I asked Jesus to come into my life, the sky was the most beautiful blue - a blue I had never seen. The grass was greener and my world "looked" amazingly different. It's as if I had a new set of eyes - literally! I knew that I was loved in a way I had never known! Twenty two years later, and I still stand in awe of his creation. And I am still in awe of his love for me and for...YOU!

I have my cloud picture on the desktop of my laptop. I look at it several times a day. I feel the Lord is pressing another message into my heart concerning the vision he gave me. If you look at the cloud picture again, you will notice a LION. There is a lion beneath the crown and to the right. It is a profile of a lion and it is rising from the clouds. You will see its front legs, head, mane, back and tail. Everytime I look at the picture I see the lion and the crown. This morning, several scriptures came to mind.

Look, he is coming with the clouds, and every eye will see him... Rev. 1:7

See, the Lion of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, has triumphed. Rev. 5:5

Now there is in store for me the crown of righteiousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day - and not only to me, but also to ALL who have longed for his appearing. 2 Tim. 4:8

To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father - to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen. Rev. 1:5,6

Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades. Rev. 1:17

The world is in a crisis. We hear it everywhere we go whether in a store, at church, on the radio, TV or on the internet. The WORLD is in crisis, not just the United States. People are full of questions...where do we turn? when will it end? who do we trust? when will things get better?

I'm not a Bible scholar or a financial analyst. But, I do know who we can trust and I do know where to turn. I turn my eyes on Jesus. One of the first hymns I learned as a new believer has the words: Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of his glory and grace. I find myself humming it often.

If you are like me, I quickly realize, that this world crisis is TOO big for me. No amount of stressing, talking or waiting is going to change anything. What I have found is that when I am in God's presence, sitting quietly, listening for his voice, looking to him...the problems get much smaller compared to his greatness. He is the God of the universe and of my little world. He has it all under control and as I put my trust in him, the problems of this world and my own little world, grow strangely dim.

Like me, you have probably been warned at some time in your life that Jesus is coming! I'm not afraid of his coming, I am looking for it. It may not be now, it may not be for another thousand years. The bible says, no one knows. But, I'm going to keep looking up!

I encourage you to fix your eyes on him, trust him and keeping looking up! He may have a message just for you! He loves us so much! Be blessed today!


Wednesday, February 25, 2009

He Speaks ~ I Listen

The Lord has been speaking to me through His word. I can't say it enough how I am always in awe of His intimacy. His timing is so timely! Sometimes, I am speechless and just sit in His presence and let His word soak into my spirit.

Let the beloved of the LORD
rest secure in him,
for he shields him all day long.
and the one the LORD loves
rests between his shoulders. Deut. 33:12

How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men find
refuge in the shadow of Your wings. Ps. 36:7

Set your minds on things above,
not on earthly things.
For you died, and your life is now
hidden with Christ in God. Col. 3:3

I heard a story about Mother Theresa that I love. She was being interviewed by Larry King. He asked her if she prayed. She said "Yes". He said "What do you say?" She answered..."I listen". Then he asked her if God spoke to her. She said "Yes". He then asked, "And what does he say?" She said, "I listen."

I love the intimacy that she portrayed in her relationship with the Lord. When God speaks, He speaks His word. He speaks His character. He speaks the secrets of His heart.

Several months ago, while reading my Bible, I felt God speak to me:
The Lord confides in those who fear him,
he makes his covenant known to him. Ps. 25:16

It was a God moment. It stopped me in my tracks. I pondered it for several days. The Lord confides in those who fear him??? The Lord is looking for confidantes. Can he trust you with his secrets?

He makes his covenant known to them. He wants to grow us into a deeper walk, deeper truths and a deeper revelation of Himself. He loves us so much.

I pray that He will find me faithful.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Daughter of the King~My Story


The Lord has done an amazing work in my life over the past several years concerning who I am. I can confidently say that "I am the disciple the Lord loves." I am my Beloved's and He is mine.
When I first read that statement in the gospel of John, I remember thinking that John was really arrogant to claim that he was the disciple that the Lord loved. How could he be so sure of himself and the love of Jesus!
I now know what that means. It has everything to do with my position in Christ. I am His. This is my story...
Almost four years ago, while visiting a children's library in Brentwood, Tennessee with my two little boys, I opened a book. I usually spent time perusing children's books while the boys played on the computers or with table games. In the book was an illustration of a little prince. The little prince was climbing a set of stairs. He had a long and slightly over-sized robe hanging on his shoulders. He held his head up high and followed in His father's footsteps. The King was in his rightly position, with the Queen right behind him. The little prince followed a few steps behind them.
The Lord immediately spoke to my heart. He asked a question. Why do you think the little prince has his head held high? What makes him so confident? It was evident by the look on his face that he knew who he was. I said well he's a prince and HIS father is the King.
The Lord continued, Everything the prince has is a result of his relationship to his father. He has not done anything to earn it. It is positional. And everything in my kingdom belongs to you as my daughter. My children live so far below what I have intended. And, Tammy, I want to show you how to live in my kingdom. I want you to experience all that I have for you. I want you to live an abundant life. YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF THE KING!
I was silent. I stood in amazement that God was using an illustration in a children's book written in 1940 to speak a profound spiritual truth to me. I knew that God had spoken and I was listening. I had no idea what he was going to do.
Shortly after that God moment, I went on a business trip with my husband where I met a woman from Nebraska. We spent an afternoon together by the pool sharing our faith. We just connected. She gave me a book about the life of Queen Esther. She felt the Lord wanted me to have it. She was so excited about how God would use the book to teach me about being a woman of God.
I read the book and was in awe of Esther's call on her life. She was a common girl and God raised her up to risk her life for His purposes. She was positioned to save a nation. God gave her favor and she obeyed against all odds. I was amazed by her life and her calling.
I had a hobby I loved. I had received a camera for a Mother's Day gift and spent lots of time taking pictures of my kids. One day, to my surprise God sent me my first "love note". I was on the beach, just pondering my future and asking God to give me peace. I opened my eyes and saw a perfect heart-shaped cloud in the sky. I smiled and said, Wow, Lord! I then thought, Hey, that's like a love note from God. And I responded, I love you too, Lord! I was fortunate to have my camera in hand and took a picture of the cloud.
The Lord has sent me many love notes in the form of heart-shaped clouds since that day. Each time, I am humbled and each time I feel so loved. And each time I respond with, Thank you, Lord. I love you too!
God began to use another teaching in my life. I always had what I called an "active mind". I was constantly carrying on conversations in my head with God, with myself and with others. It sounds crazy, but I thought I was just "different". Where did all of these ideas and thoughts come from? Then I began to understand that I could take authority over every thought. I didn't have to "think"every thought. It was a discipline of my mind. I began to find rest and a new way of living. God was setting me free.
I sensed God pursuing me. As I watched on the movie screen the depiction of His death, he took me to a new level. The price he paid to win me was like no other. He wanted me and he paid for it. He paid for you and every other person ever created. The scene was humbling and heart-wrenching. I found myself weeping throughout the whole movie. I felt Mary's grief. For the first time, I understood the piercing of her soul. I knew that only God could love us so much. I wanted everyone to understand this love. I never want to forget that deep emotion.
God placed another book in my life. The book revealed a relationship with the Lord that was as close as breathing. I knew that the Lord was with me. For 22 years, I have looked at everyday as an adventure with God. I look forward to seeing what he is going to do in my life and through my life everyday. But, I really understood...HE pursues ME! He wants to be loved by me. He wants to be loved by you. He wants to give us more than a ticket to heaven. He wants to give us a ticket to LIFE.
Throughout my journey, I have experienced loss, rejection, pain and separation just like you. My life is real just like yours. God doesn't prevent these LIFE events. We live in a real world. He says we will have trouble. We will not be fed on a silver spoon. That is not what Kingdom Life is all about. Kingdom Life is about being loved by the King, knowing that love and loving him in return.
Just when I was enjoying this life on the mountaintop, my life began to crumble. The doubts began to come. Do you know what I mean? Things like...IF God loves you so much, why is this happening? IF God cares so much about you, why do you feel so alone? IF....
I knew that God had brought me through these years of teaching for a reason. I hung on to the truth. I hung on to the revelations he had given me about himself. I took authority over the negative thoughts and lies. I experienced victory. And I experienced deep pain. I wanted to hang on...but I could only do it by the grace of God. I was about to experience God at another level. He was all I had... and He was all I needed.
During this time, I wanted a tangible crown. I needed a tangible reminder of who I was. I found a beautiful necklace with a crown pendant and began to wear it everyday. I would look in the mirror and remind myself who I was. "I am a Daughter of the King. He pursues me, he loves me and he wants to be with me."
This trial in my life has lasted much longer than I would desire. But, God has been with me every hour of every day. He has carried me, He has hidden me in the shelter of His wings, and He has prayed for me. He has kept me. And he has loved me.
In December of 2008, I went to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico with my husband on another business trip. I wanted to use this time as a spiritual retreat. Everyday, I would place my beach chair on the edge of the water. Each day, I would spend time reading and praying and letting the same teaching go deeper into my spirit. I wanted to find favor with my King. I wanted to please him and to pursue him. He responds to that kind of fervor. He likes it...a lot! It isn't just words. It isn't just actions. It is a feeling...I love my King.
While on the beach, the Lord sent me love notes in the form of heart-shaped clouds. My prized camera had since crashed and I had a disposable camera with me that I had bought at the airport. It was going to have to do. Unfortunately, I never got a picture of my hearts. I was disappointed. On the last day of our trip, I again positioned my chair to spend time with Jesus. Just me and Jesus! I was waiting for another love note. I believed the Lord would send one to me. This was the last chance I would have. Our trip was almost over.
My husband came looking for me and was a little upset to find me in that same spot. I had told him I would be ready to do some sightseeing, but I just didn't want to leave my spot. You see...I can be a little bit of a whiner. Yes, I do feel spoiled sometimes. I do feel like a little girl with my Father at times. I'm so thankful He can handle it. I was whining to God and telling him how disappointed I was that I didn't get a picture of a heart-shaped cloud. I kept telling him I knew he could do it again. But, I felt I needed to honor my husband and get going.
My husband asked me what was wrong. I ashamedly accused him for my lack of taking a picture. You see, the day before, I could have taken a picture, but instead I spent time talking with him. At the time, I was proud that I was denying myself and giving him my attention. By the end of our short conversation, the heart-shaped cloud had dissipated. I missed my God moment and it was really "his" fault. Ohhh...I felt awful for blaming him...BUT...I really wanted that picture.
As we made the trek back to the hotel room, I was still holding the camera in my hand. I was still asking the Lord for another love note. I also repented about my whining. I told him how special I felt that he had given me three hearts. I was humbled and asked him to never let me forget what he had done.
About half-way up the walkway, I turned back toward the ocean and looked up in the sky. There it was...the most amazing love note I have ever received! Clearly, God had placed a CROWN shaped cloud in the sky. I nearly collapsed. I was speechless. I tapped on my husband's shoulder. He looked up and said, "Well that sure beats a heart!". He said it so nonchalantly. He knows me...He knows my God! He knew what a crown meant to me.
I took the picture on my little disposable camera. I prayed it would turn out. I would treasure it forever!
When I first came to know Jesus 22 years ago, a friend had given me the scripture on this layout. You will be like a beautiful crown in the Lord's hand. Like a king's crown in your God's hand. Isaiah 62:3 I could not receive it then. She promised me that God had so much for me. That he had the power to heal all of my hurts, to redeem all of my past and to forgive all of my sins. I needed faith to believe that.
Now, I can say she was absolutely right. He is able and He is willing!
That's my story...I continue to stand in awe. I pray that my story has touched your heart. If you are uncomfortable saying, "I am the disciple the Lord loves", I pray that you will begin to pursue your King and respond to him pursuing you. He really loves you! He has a beautiful plan for your life.
I know that God has so much more to teach me about himself. He just keeps getting bigger! I don't want to miss out on a single moment.
This is LIFE!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Daughter of the King


Here it is! I know that some of you have been waiting to see this beautiful scene that God blessed me with in December 2008.

My aunt put this layout together for me. We have used Isaiah 62:3 as the title of this image.

You will be like a beautiful crown in your Lord's hand,
Like a king's crown in your God's hand.

And that is what I am. And that is what you are! God wants to display your splendor for all to see. He holds you in His hand. He wants to use your life to glorify Himself. He loves you so much. He wants you to know Him intimately. He is with you and He is mighty to save you and to keep you. Praise His Name!

Please watch this blog for the full story of this picture.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Priceless

No greater love has any man than this~to lay down his life for a friend.
I am a friend of God. He calls me friend.
He laid down his life for me. He asks me to do the same.
Lay down my life for Jesus ~ by the grace of God, I lay down my life for him.

I walk a different road. I want to see him in a new light.
To be something in my life today that he wasn't yesterday.
He urges me to keep moving forward. He has so much more!
If you've come to a new horizon there's another one around the bend.

This journey is so incredible.
The treasures of his wisdom are unspeakable.
He's here ~ He's there ~ He's waiting~will you surrender?
I must become less so that he can become more!

When I am alone, he is ever-present.
When no one understands, he is all-knowing.
When I have no strength, he is all-powerful.
When I am empty, he is everything I need.

I love him ~ he loves me more!
Oh how Jesus loves you and me!
He wants you to know life ~ abundant life.
Nothing can get in the way of a heart surrendered to him.

Jesus left His home ~ Heaven
Jesus carried your shame ~ Cross
Jesus was shunned by His Father ~ God
Jesus was looking for His reward ~ YOU!

PRICELESS!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

His House

However, the Most High does not live in houses made by men. As the prophet says: Heaven is my throne,and the earth is my footstool. What kind of house will you build for me?

That verse just struck me. The Lord does not live in a house. He lives in us. When people look at us, they see him. When they hear our voice, they hear him. When they watch our lives, they read his book.

These past few days have been crazy busy. It's exciting to do something new. Though the unknown is also a little unnerving. If you've ever owned your own business, you know what I mean. When will the phone ring? Will they be happy with my work? Will we succeed or are we just crazy?

Then I hear another voice.

I watched the sunrise this morning and the sunset this evening. God is so creative, isn't he? It was beautiful. This morning a beam of light shone straight up in the sky like a spotlight. This evening, the colors were pink, orange and purple. I love his creation.

But, then he spoke to me once again...I value you more than all of creation. I am not in the sun and I am not in the clouds. I am in...you. You are more beautiful to me than any sunrise or sunset. You are mine. You are not alone. You do not have to carry the burden of your problems. Nothing in your life is too big for me! Have I ever failed you? Will you trust me?

Trust. There's that word again. Trust. Lay all of your burdens down and 'Trust Me'. Do you ever think you've arrived? Do you ever think that NOW I have it all together, I can handle this? Just about that time, a new trial presents itself. And you find yourself back at square one.

I think that's just where Jesus wants us. He just wants to make himself at home in us. He wants us to be comfortable with his presence in our lives. He wants us to come to a point that we can TRUST him whatever knocks on our door. He wants us to be quiet enough to hear his voice and to trust him.

After all...I'm my Father's house.


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Faithful

This morning as I lay in bed, the Lord was singing over me. I kept hearing the song "Oh, no, you never let go...Lord, you never let go of me". What a blessing! WoW! I am so blessed! His word is full of His promises. One of them is that he will never let go of those he calls his own. He just wanted to remind me.

When I am weak, He is strong. 2 Cor. 12:10
I am the strongest when I am on my knees. 1 Peter 5:6
Did you know that your heart has knees?
He wants you there, on your knees with your
heart bowed to him. James 4:10
He wants the glory. He is jealous.
He is jealous of sharing His glory. Isaiah 48:11
He is jealous of your affection toward any other loves. Exodus 20:4-6
He wants to be first. Mark 12:29
He wishes that you are either hot or cold. Rev. 3:15
He is offended with lukewarm. Rev. 3:16
He is faithful! Psalms 145:13
He will do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine! Ephesians 4:11

This morning that is what I asked for. I prayed that he would do more today than I could ask or imagine. And HE DID it! I stand in awe of His hand at work in my life. I am so blessed!

My favorite hymn...my life's anthem...

Great is thy faithfulness - Great is thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed, thy hand has provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!

Here's wishing you a good night and a bright tomorrow...can't wait to see what the Lord's going to do tomorrow, can you?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Anyone Got a Light?

This month has found us in a state of transition. Moving our business into our home has meant cleaning, discarding, moving and redesigning. It is met with anticipation that is both bitter and sweet.

Two and half years ago, we were excited about a new venture. Loving flowers, it seemed a natural fit to go into the florist business. It's amazing how much we have learned. It's wonderful to have so many people cross our path. And it's a blessing to see how God has used us to touch others' lives in joy and in sorrow.

The future always brings with it questions amid the shadows. We begin to question ourselves...could we have...ifs, maybes and what does the future hold all begin to cloud our thinking. We didn't know this is how it would play out. We didn't know the economy would take such a drastic turn. We didn't know...

Anyone got a light?

As I have spent time pondering and wondering about our future, God has continued to remind me of His faithfulness. He promises to lead us. He promises to bless us. And he has and he does.
But, sometimes, don't you wish you had a little more light. Just a little glimpse, Lord. What does tomorrow look like...next month...next year?

Anyone got a light?

Then I read more. I'm reminded that he will give us enough light for the step we're on. His word is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path. I read again. He brings comfort. Our lives are seasons...time passes. There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. This is the time to uproot...the time to tear down. As I look around our shop, I see life. Colors, beautiful flowers...God's creation. I never want to take it for granted. And I am blessed.

He speaks...I listen. How I want to be still and hear his whisper. He's the light...and he steps into the shadows with us...ahead of us...and behind us...he's got us covered. For we walk by faith and not by sight.

Are you in a dark spot...need a light? Jesus is the light...his word is a lamp. No matter your situation, you can find him...he's in the word. Check him out - He's waiting to reveal himself to you. Be blessed!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Mommy - I Have a Question

As I put my little boy to bed last night he began to ask questions about the overturning of the "Moment of Silence" allowed in public schools. Yesterday, a judge in Illinois deemed it unconstitutional. Amazing!

We saw the report on Fox News where they were interviewing Dr. James Dobson, child psychologist and founder of Focus on the Family. Dr. Dobson stated that he has never seen such extreme measures against children.

My son couldn't figure out why they would take the moment of silence from them. Every morning their principal asks everyone to pause for a moment of silence. That's it! No one is forced to pray, think or meditate...just be silent for a moment.

I asked him what he does during the moment of silence. He said he prays sometimes, like for who would be best to get the part of Santa in the Christmas play, and he prayed for the presidential election. Sometimes, he just looks at the flag.

He asked me why the judge would think that was wrong. I said I don't know. What I do know is that Jesus wants us to talk to him (pray) whenever and wherever we are. We talked about Daniel in the Bible and how he prayed even though it was against the law. He said what will happen to me if I pray at school? I assured him that he would be fine and he could pray whenever and wherever he wanted.

We then talked about the judge and where his heart is. I said the best thing we can do is pray for him and hopefully he will understand how the Lord wants us to talk to him. He said, "I think this is a perfect time right now. We are finishing 21 days of fasting (from sugar) and I think the Lord will hear us pray for him." I was so blessed and said "Yes, let's pray for him right now".

This morning, I was led to this scripture. Jesus says that the day will come when every mouth will declare him LORD.

So God raised him to the highest place.
God made his name greater than every other name.
So that every knee will bow to the name of Jesus-
everyone in heaven, on earth,
and under the earth.
And everyone will confess that
Jesus Christ is Lord
and bring glory to God the Father. Philippians 2:9-11

I am so thankful for the opportunity to teach my children about God's faithfulness and His amazing love! May He bless you today with a revelation of Himself as you follow after Him with the heart of a child!