He Speaks ~ I Listen

The Lord has been speaking to me through His word. I can't say it enough how I am always in awe of His intimacy. His timing is so timely! Sometimes, I am speechless and just sit in His presence and let His word soak into my spirit.

Let the beloved of the LORD
rest secure in him,
for he shields him all day long.
and the one the LORD loves
rests between his shoulders. Deut. 33:12

How priceless is your unfailing love!
Both high and low among men find
refuge in the shadow of Your wings. Ps. 36:7

Set your minds on things above,
not on earthly things.
For you died, and your life is now
hidden with Christ in God. Col. 3:3

I heard a story about Mother Theresa that I love. She was being interviewed by Larry King. He asked her if she prayed. She said "Yes". He said "What do you say?" She answered..."I listen". Then he asked her if God spoke to her. She said "Yes". He then asked, "And what does he say?" She said, "I listen."

I love the intimacy that she portrayed in her relationship with the Lord. When God speaks, He speaks His word. He speaks His character. He speaks the secrets of His heart.

Several months ago, while reading my Bible, I felt God speak to me:
The Lord confides in those who fear him,
he makes his covenant known to him. Ps. 25:16

It was a God moment. It stopped me in my tracks. I pondered it for several days. The Lord confides in those who fear him??? The Lord is looking for confidantes. Can he trust you with his secrets?

He makes his covenant known to them. He wants to grow us into a deeper walk, deeper truths and a deeper revelation of Himself. He loves us so much.

I pray that He will find me faithful.

Daughter of the King~My Story

The Lord has done an amazing work in my life over the past several years concerning who I am. I can confidently say that "I am the disciple the Lord loves." I am my Beloved's and He is mine.

When I first read that statement in the gospel of John, I remember thinking that John was really arrogant to claim that he was the disciple that the Lord loved. How could he be so sure of himself and the love of Jesus!

I now know what that means. It has everything to do with my position in Christ. I am His. This is my story...

Almost four years ago, while visiting a children's library in Brentwood, Tennessee with my two little boys, I opened a book. I usually spent time perusing children's books while the boys played on the computers or with table games. In the book was an illustration of a little prince. The little prince was climbing a set of stairs. He had a long and slightly over-sized robe hanging on his shoulders. He held his head up high and followed in His father's footsteps. The King was in his rightly position, with the Queen right behind him. The little prince followed a few steps behind them.

The Lord immediately spoke to my heart. He asked a question. Why do you think the little prince has his head held high? What makes him so confident? It was evident by the look on his face that he knew who he was. I said well he's a prince and HIS father is the King.

The Lord continued, Everything the prince has is a result of his relationship to his father. He has not done anything to earn it. It is positional. And everything in my kingdom belongs to you as my daughter. My children live so far below what I have intended. And, Tammy, I want to show you how to live in my kingdom. I want you to experience all that I have for you. I want you to live an abundant life. YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF THE KING!

I was silent. I stood in amazement that God was using an illustration in a children's book written in 1940 to speak a profound spiritual truth to me. I knew that God had spoken and I was listening. I had no idea what he was going to do.

Shortly after that God moment, I went on a business trip with my husband where I met a woman from Nebraska. We spent an afternoon together by the pool sharing our faith. We just connected. She gave me a book about the life of Queen Esther. She felt the Lord wanted me to have it. She was so excited about how God would use the book to teach me about being a woman of God.

I read the book and was in awe of Esther's call on her life. She was a common girl and God raised her up to risk her life for His purposes. She was positioned to save a nation. God gave her favor and she obeyed against all odds. I was amazed by her life and her calling.

I had a hobby I loved. I had received a camera for a Mother's Day gift and spent lots of time taking pictures of my kids. One day, to my surprise God sent me my first "love note". I was on the beach, just pondering my future and asking God to give me peace. I opened my eyes and saw a perfect heart-shaped cloud in the sky. I smiled and said, Wow, Lord! I then thought, Hey, that's like a love note from God. And I responded, I love you too, Lord! I was fortunate to have my camera in hand and took a picture of the cloud.

The Lord has sent me many love notes in the form of heart-shaped clouds since that day. Each time, I am humbled and each time I feel so loved. And each time I respond with, Thank you, Lord. I love you too!

God began to use another teaching in my life. I always had what I called an "active mind". I was constantly carrying on conversations in my head with God, with myself and with others. It sounds crazy, but I thought I was just "different". Where did all of these ideas and thoughts come from? Then I began to understand that I could take authority over every thought. I didn't have to "think"every thought. It was a discipline of my mind. I began to find rest and a new way of living. God was setting me free.

I sensed God pursuing me. As I watched on the movie screen the depiction of His death, he took me to a new level. The price he paid to win me was like no other. He wanted me and he paid for it. He paid for you and every other person ever created. The scene was humbling and heart-wrenching. I found myself weeping throughout the whole movie. I felt Mary's grief. For the first time, I understood the piercing of her soul. I knew that only God could love us so much. I wanted everyone to understand this love. I never want to forget that deep emotion.

God placed another book in my life. The book revealed a relationship with the Lord that was as close as breathing. I knew that the Lord was with me. For 22 years, I have looked at everyday as an adventure with God. I look forward to seeing what he is going to do in my life and through my life everyday. But, I really understood...HE pursues ME! He wants to be loved by me. He wants to be loved by you. He wants to give us more than a ticket to heaven. He wants to give us a ticket to LIFE.

Throughout my journey, I have experienced loss, rejection, pain and separation just like you. My life is real just like yours. God doesn't prevent these LIFE events. We live in a real world. He says we will have trouble. We will not be fed on a silver spoon. That is not what Kingdom Life is all about. Kingdom Life is about being loved by the King, knowing that love and loving him in return.

Just when I was enjoying this life on the mountaintop, my life began to crumble. The doubts began to come. Do you know what I mean? Things like...IF God loves you so much, why is this happening? IF God cares so much about you, why do you feel so alone? IF....

I knew that God had brought me through these years of teaching for a reason. I hung on to the truth. I hung on to the revelations he had given me about himself. I took authority over the negative thoughts and lies. I experienced victory. And I experienced deep pain. I wanted to hang on...but I could only do it by the grace of God. I was about to experience God at another level. He was all I had... and He was all I needed.

During this time, I wanted a tangible crown. I needed a tangible reminder of who I was. I found a beautiful necklace with a crown pendant and began to wear it everyday. I would look in the mirror and remind myself who I was. "I am a Daughter of the King. He pursues me, he loves me and he wants to be with me."

This trial in my life has lasted much longer than I would desire. But, God has been with me every hour of every day. He has carried me, He has hidden me in the shelter of His wings, and He has prayed for me. He has kept me. And he has loved me.

In December of 2008, I went to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico with my husband on another business trip. I wanted to use this time as a spiritual retreat. Everyday, I would place my beach chair on the edge of the water. Each day, I would spend time reading and praying and letting the same teaching go deeper into my spirit. I wanted to find favor with my King. I wanted to please him and to pursue him. He responds to that kind of fervor. He likes it...a lot! It isn't just words. It isn't just actions. It is a feeling...I love my King.

While on the beach, the Lord sent me love notes in the form of heart-shaped clouds. My prized camera had since crashed and I had a disposable camera with me that I had bought at the airport. It was going to have to do. Unfortunately, I never got a picture of my hearts. I was disappointed. On the last day of our trip, I again positioned my chair to spend time with Jesus. Just me and Jesus! I was waiting for another love note. I believed the Lord would send one to me. This was the last chance I would have. Our trip was almost over.

My husband came looking for me and was a little upset to find me in that same spot. I had told him I would be ready to do some sightseeing, but I just didn't want to leave my spot. You see...I can be a little bit of a whiner. Yes, I do feel spoiled sometimes. I do feel like a little girl with my Father at times. I'm so thankful He can handle it. I was whining to God and telling him how disappointed I was that I didn't get a picture of a heart-shaped cloud. I kept telling him I knew he could do it again. But, I felt I needed to honor my husband and get going.

My husband asked me what was wrong. I ashamedly accused him for my lack of taking a picture. You see, the day before, I could have taken a picture, but instead I spent time talking with him. At the time, I was proud that I was denying myself and giving him my attention. By the end of our short conversation, the heart-shaped cloud had dissipated. I missed my God moment and it was really "his" fault. Ohhh...I felt awful for blaming him...BUT...I really wanted that picture.

As we made the trek back to the hotel room, I was still holding the camera in my hand. I was still asking the Lord for another love note. I also repented about my whining. I told him how special I felt that he had given me three hearts. I was humbled and asked him to never let me forget what he had done.

About half-way up the walkway, I turned back toward the ocean and looked up in the sky. There it was...the most amazing love note I have ever received! Clearly, God had placed a CROWN shaped cloud in the sky. I nearly collapsed. I was speechless. I tapped on my husband's shoulder. He looked up and said, "Well that sure beats a heart!". He said it so nonchalantly. He knows me...He knows my God! He knew what a crown meant to me.

I took the picture on my little disposable camera. I prayed it would turn out. I would treasure it forever!

When I first came to know Jesus 22 years ago, a friend had given me the scripture on this layout. You will be like a beautiful crown in the Lord's hand. Like a king's crown in your God's hand. Isaiah 62:3 I could not receive it then. She promised me that God had so much for me. That he had the power to heal all of my hurts, to redeem all of my past and to forgive all of my sins. I needed faith to believe that.

Now, I can say she was absolutely right. He is able and He is willing!

That's my story...I continue to stand in awe. I pray that my story has touched your heart. If you are uncomfortable saying, "I am the disciple the Lord loves", I pray that you will begin to pursue your King and respond to him pursuing you. He really loves you! He has a beautiful plan for your life.

I know that God has so much more to teach me about himself. He just keeps getting bigger! I don't want to miss out on a single moment.

This is LIFE!

Daughter of the King

Here it is! I know that some of you have been waiting to see this beautiful scene that God blessed me with in December 2008.

My aunt put this layout together for me. We have used Isaiah 62:3 as the title of this image.

You will be like a beautiful crown in your Lord's hand,
Like a king's crown in your God's hand.

And that is what I am. And that is what you are! God wants to display your splendor for all to see. He holds you in His hand. He wants to use your life to glorify Himself. He loves you so much. He wants you to know Him intimately. He is with you and He is mighty to save you and to keep you. Praise His Name!

Please watch this blog for the full story of this picture.

Priceless

No greater love has any man than this~to lay down his life for a friend.
I am a friend of God. He calls me friend.
He laid down his life for me. He asks me to do the same.
Lay down my life for Jesus ~ by the grace of God, I lay down my life for him.

I walk a different road. I want to see him in a new light.
To be something in my life today that he wasn't yesterday.
He urges me to keep moving forward. He has so much more!
If you've come to a new horizon there's another one around the bend.

This journey is so incredible.
The treasures of his wisdom are unspeakable.
He's here ~ He's there ~ He's waiting~will you surrender?
I must become less so that he can become more!

When I am alone, he is ever-present.
When no one understands, he is all-knowing.
When I have no strength, he is all-powerful.
When I am empty, he is everything I need.

I love him ~ he loves me more!
Oh how Jesus loves you and me!
He wants you to know life ~ abundant life.
Nothing can get in the way of a heart surrendered to him.

Jesus left His home ~ Heaven
Jesus carried your shame ~ Cross
Jesus was shunned by His Father ~ God
Jesus was looking for His reward ~ YOU!

PRICELESS!

His House

However, the Most High does not live in houses made by men. As the prophet says: Heaven is my throne,and the earth is my footstool. What kind of house will you build for me?

That verse just struck me. The Lord does not live in a house. He lives in us. When people look at us, they see him. When they hear our voice, they hear him. When they watch our lives, they read his book.

These past few days have been crazy busy. It's exciting to do something new. Though the unknown is also a little unnerving. If you've ever owned your own business, you know what I mean. When will the phone ring? Will they be happy with my work? Will we succeed or are we just crazy?

Then I hear another voice.

I watched the sunrise this morning and the sunset this evening. God is so creative, isn't he? It was beautiful. This morning a beam of light shone straight up in the sky like a spotlight. This evening, the colors were pink, orange and purple. I love his creation.

But, then he spoke to me once again...I value you more than all of creation. I am not in the sun and I am not in the clouds. I am in...you. You are more beautiful to me than any sunrise or sunset. You are mine. You are not alone. You do not have to carry the burden of your problems. Nothing in your life is too big for me! Have I ever failed you? Will you trust me?

Trust. There's that word again. Trust. Lay all of your burdens down and 'Trust Me'. Do you ever think you've arrived? Do you ever think that NOW I have it all together, I can handle this? Just about that time, a new trial presents itself. And you find yourself back at square one.

I think that's just where Jesus wants us. He just wants to make himself at home in us. He wants us to be comfortable with his presence in our lives. He wants us to come to a point that we can TRUST him whatever knocks on our door. He wants us to be quiet enough to hear his voice and to trust him.

After all...I'm my Father's house.